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Thursday 29 November 2012

Feelin' Down?

Hey there peeps..something bad happened to me yesterday. I finished working on my artwork for a competition held in UUM. I worked hard on..it took me about 3 days to finish! Because I was lazy..LOL.  I think I did a pretty good job on it.
But still..I got a problem with it. I think it's not going to win anything. I kept on thinking and thinking and thinking about what's gonna happen to the future and how are the results going to be or am I going to win anything..it's driving me nuts!!
I looked at it again and I think it's childish and immature..I want it to look quite professional. I think I want to draw another one.So, I search for painting and drawing tutorials on Youtube. It encourages me to use watercolour..even though I hate watercolour, the paintings that I watched online was beautiful and I think I should go ahead and try using watercolour. The artworks made by the people who uploaded those videos were amazing, truly wonderful and it looks easy. Actually..it's harder than it looks.
  My artwork turned into some crap and I was angry with it..my mom made weird faces when she looks at me. I knew I can't trust watercolour!! AAggghh!
 I was thinking of my future last night. What's in my mind was ,"I'm not gonna win, you're immature, you are not a pro and you can never win, I am not an artist, I can't be an artist when I can't make PERFECT paintings" Those really drove me crazy..I was so frustrated and I was in stress..I can get rid of that anger, so I cried.
 I cried so bad..I was flipping over some pages of a painting tutorials book that my mom bought me. I was still crying..I hate looking at those paintings, because I really can't make any. I blew up, it's a good thing I didn't tear any pages of the book. It costs my mom quite a fortune.
  But after a while my mom gave me some advices..but it didn't work so well. I went crying under my bed and I was rolling down there. That drives the nerves out of my sister, she got angry. I got angry too..so I hide myself in the cupboard. My sister got angrier. Then, I heard my mom yell from outside to go to sleep. Huh..what a frustrated night..the night I slept with tears and no hope to face against other professional artists.
  But this morning, I woke up early and I searched for motivational and inspirational videos on Youtube. Then, I found a video made by a guy called Shoo Rayner. His words were inspiring..what he said was quite true..the problems he stated was my problems..and the video really helped me to keep on trying and never give up and don't think about the future and all..it's a good video.
Here's the video..


P/S: Shoo looks like Uncle Zamri. I'm serious! he looks just like Uncle Zamri but a white version. LOL.


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